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May. 20th, 2015

I wanted to start writing in a journal again I bought a a4 Marvel comics notebook for that purpose but realised half of what I want to write I can't just in case Abdul sees it.
So am seeing if I actually keep up with it on here or if this is just one of those posts I make about twice a year.

Nothing has really changed since last time I wrote here I am still on heroin but I have cut down from nearly every day to every few days or till money completely runs out like today so I'm going to try and not borrow money off Alex (Romanian guy who lives with us), that gives me a week and a half before I get paid next.

I have been getting back into Art the last few weeks I hadn't done any drawing for over 10 years
I did this with coloured watercolour pencils its Jasmine (Disney Princess) as a zombie it isn't my original drawing though I copied it off an image I found in a Google image search.

And yesterday spent ages drawing Elsa and Anna from Frozen building Olaf when they were young not to happy with it though also it needs some colour

I also got some paints and few packs of pens and Crayola coloured pencils and my Wreck this journal turned up in the post the other day so will be fun completing that.

I'm really getting into Arts and Crafts I think because it takes my mind of all the shit in my life also its nice when you make something.
I was real obsessed with Rainbow Loom (Loom bands (little coloured rubber bands)
Initially because Shakeel showed me how to make a basic bracelet during one contact and after I went home I kind of got addicted making lots of different characters for Aleesha and Shakeel but now they aren't really interested in it Minecraft has took over.
Made me a bit sad because I spent hours creating the things I made for them but they are not bothered to much oh well Tim likes what I make so I make him stuff heres a bird I made him a few weeks ago It was crochet or loomigurumi

I have to have a think what to make next because I have huge boxes of bands still.

Dad came round today I wont see him now till October he is going to live in the Philipines in a fortnight with his girlfriend who is from there.
He is coming back in October to see my sisters baby she's due in August and is having a baby girl called Willow.
Me and Dad had an indian take out I think I have totally gone off anything indian I got chicken tikka but forced myself to finish it the roti was good though.
I think I'm gonna go watch Sundays Game of thrones episode and then go to sleep I did think about going to the gym tomorow but I should of gone to sleep earlier.
I need to start going regulary again because I have put on more wait I am 22 stone now which is bad.
To much comfort eating and not leaving the house because I got real low with my depression  I was real suicidal again.

Anyway hopefully I will keep this journal going
Had to get Lulu a new collar today because when I took her collar off when she had a bath I noticed her skin had red bits all around her neck so bought a fabric collar to see if that solves the problem.
I think she had a few to many treats today because when I went out to get my methadone in the car when I got back she had pooed all in the cage and there was loads of it and it was all runny.
Proper disgusting that was over 3 hours ago now and I can still smell shit even though straight away I threw the mat it was on in the bin I have had all the windows open and the back door and sprayed air freshener but the smell just wont go its driving me crazy.
I watched The dog rescuers on Channel 5 yesterday and one of the houses the RSPCA were called out to when the guy opened the door there was shit and piss on absolutely every inch of the floor in the whole house I really don't understand how the people could of lived with that it must of been terrible the smell, the person who lived there had 2 adult dogs and the female had just had a litter of pups and the guy had sold a few and was left with about 4 so he signed the pups over to the RSPCA but they also took the adult dogs telling them they would be back to check if they cleaned up and if they did they would get the 2 dogs back and they went back to check and they had cleared up so they got their 2 dogs back but me I still wouldn't of given them back the conditions they were living in were terrible.


My princess is here

Leila Afia Hashim born on 7th January 2013 at 8.06pm weighing 5lb 11oz

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


New Piercings and stretching my ears

lately I have got quite a few new piercings

got a teardrop dermal piercing under my eye

then my tongue done

then my lip done on the left side so it's all symmetrical now

also started stretching my ears this one is a 3mm I think

then 4mm tunnels, at the moment I am at 5mm and will be going to a 6mm in about a week I plan to go up to a 10mm then stop

i am going to get my septum pierced when my lip piercing has healed and also my nose done again but on the right hand side and probably another teardrop dermal

What sexual flavour are you?


Only a few positions, usually just touch foreplay (no oral, or only occasional) monogamous at all times, no porn, no toys, no outfits etc. Usually prefers evening sex in bed or on a special occasion outside of the bedroom. Likes to read 50 shades of grey but gets a giggle out of it and would never actually try it!


Likes to try out some new positions, enjoys oral foreplay, special occasions toys and costumes, some porn, enjoys morning sex but usually only after brushed teeth. Usually monogamous. Enjoys sex in other rooms/shower etc. Has read the Karma Sutra but still trying to work out how to pull it off.


Enjoys porn, multiple toys, experimental, multiple partners (also monogamous) likes to have sex outdoors, enjoys making home movies, has been involved in threesomes or more. Anal, oral and BDSM are options. Owns a copy of the 120 days of Sodom


No holes barred, anything goes as long as its consensual and legal (mostly) Has an extensive underground porn collection...

I'm Chocolate/Rainbow  I do own a copy of the 120 days of Sodom lol
Finally got an appointment for a scan I go on Monday I am well paranoid about it that I will go and the baby wont be there or something.
It will be nice to finally find out how far I am gone I'm gonna guess about 7 weeks.

Mya at 2 months old

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie First Birthday tickers

Finally managed to capture her smile on camera she started smiling at about 8 weeks but not to much then she'd randomly smile for 2 seconds then straight away have a grumpy look on her face after lol
but lately shes smiling all the time and babbling away to me and over the last week or so she has discovered her hands which seem to be almost permanently in her mouth.
she loves it if I clap her hands together for her I get a huge grin out of her when I do that.
She's such a happy content baby and only cries when she wants feeding.
She is a great sleeper she goes to bed same time as Aleesha and Shakeel usually around 8.30pm then she usually wakes up for a feed around 2am and then goes straight back to sleep till around 7.30am
She loves her baths sometimes she gets a few a day if she is sick but always every evening before her feed before bedtime she happily splashes away for ages.
Aleesha and Shakeel love her to bits and both are so caring towards her and want to help out as much as possible.


About Me

Name: Sarah
Age: 26
Sex: Female
Status: Its Complicated
Children: 1 girl, 1 boy
Lives: Cambridge, UK
Zodiac Sign: Cancer

My kids, Reading, Books, Music, T.V, DVD's, The Sims 2, Cooking, Harry Potter, Lost, Afterlife, Bad Girls, Horror, Bollywood, Learning, Internet, Firefox, Thunderbird, Winamp, Last.FM, Gmail, Livejournal, Wikipedia, Paintshop Pro 8&9, Photoshop, Drinking tea, Writing, Psychology, Mental health, Addiction recovery, Abuse Recovery,Friends.

George Bush, Tony Blair, Israeli Terrorists, Drunks, Bullys, Being fat, Rapists, Elitists, Real player, Internet Explorer, Time computers, The computer shop